Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
