You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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