while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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