I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
