so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
