shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
