But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
