Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
