I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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