We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
