I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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