I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Drake has all the answers
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
