Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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