He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
