just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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