sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
