So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
