dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she looked like the before picture.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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