His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
