I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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