Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
