Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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