It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
