Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
