I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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