It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
