i barfeds in our rink
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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