dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
