I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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