She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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