There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
