Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so that wasnt chicken after all
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
