He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
