You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
