Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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