We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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