Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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