I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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