Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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