Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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