just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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