How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
