what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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