Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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