Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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