I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your penis caused this!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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