I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
