Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
