Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i out mim tonsoeep
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
