I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
