I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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