I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
