We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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