Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
